God died on April 16th, 2021, from a combination of anorexia, alcohol abuse, and excessive use of colloidal silver. At least, according to the organization known as Love Has Won, God died on that day. God was, according to them, Amy Carlson- a 46-year-old woman from Texas who claimed to have lived over 500 lifetimes. News of her death only became public on April 26th, 2021, after the police raided the Love Has Won compound and found her blue, sparkly, mummified remains. 

For many cults, that would be the end. They would collapse without a leader- but this organization still goes on strong and is still gaining more members- even selling the very products that killed their God. In this article, we will be discussing how the cult began, and providing details as to how they can keep going.

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Amy Carlson was born in McPherson, Kansas, to Linda Haythorne, and her unnamed husband, in 1975. The couple also had another daughter named Tara. In the HBO documentary titled “Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God”, Haythorne describes that the financial conditions of the family were poor. “They didn’t know we were poor,” Haythorne said. “But they were happy.”. As a child, Carlson was described as being sweet and kind, albeit somewhat mischievous. Haythorne stated that Carlson had wanted to become a singer, and had a love of playing dress up with her sister. She was, according to Haythorne, a natural-born leader, and was destined for bigger things. 

Carlson’s parents divorced when she was seven, in 1982. While Haythorne didn’t give a reason as to why she divorced her husband, she stated that it would have been unhealthy for the children to grow up in a home where their parents did not love each other. Both parents would remarry with different spouses, and her father would move to Oklahoma City. 

Carlson’s stepmother, again unnamed, apparently did not take well to her. According to former posts online from Carlson, the stepmother hated Carlson as she reminded her of Haythorne. Carlson would go on to state that her stepmother abused her, with the statements supported by her mother and sister. Carlson even detailed in a livestream that she was locked in a dark closet for long periods of time as a punishment. The abuse got so bad that Carlson and her sister ended up permanently living with their mother and moving to Houston, Texas, in order to escape their father and stepmother. There Carlson excelled in school, earning A’s and B’s in her classes, and went on to sing in the school’s choir. By everyone’s accounts, Carlson was a completely normal and well-rounded child.

Carlson, however, would go on to claim differently. 

It’s important to note that there are two different timelines that we are going to explore. One provided by the organization and one that happened in reality. The cult claims that this is Carlson’s 535th life, and that it was only in this one that she was able to reach “ascension.”

According to the book. “HERstory: Conversations with Mother God” (which was published by a Love Has Won Archeia), she had “created herself from the energies of love and the unknown,” and had “every experience in this realm in order to transform it.” She was supposedly reincarnated multiple times, and claimed to have been Jesus Christ, Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth, Guan Yin, Amelia Earhart, Helena Blavatsky, Pochahontas, Harriet Tubman, and Marilyn Monroe. I would like to point out that these claims do not include the Hawaiin Goddess Pele, that Carlson claimed she was in the 2010’s. The point is, Carlson claimed that her life went farther back in time than what we “understand”, therefore making two separate timelines that must be taken into account.  

So, Carlson claimed that during her latest life, she was born speaking to the “angels, trees, birds, rocks,” and all of creation. She was supposedly reborn surrounded by angels and could see every one of them. She stated that she had always known she was from heaven, but not that she was God. It is important to note that Carlson made these claims as an adult during the creation of Love Has Won.

Carlson soon entered adulthood and lived an average life. She had three children by three different fathers, became a manager at a local McDonald’s, and was a regular at the local karaoke bar. She would go on to claim that she was a “celebrity” of the bar, but that has yet to be proven. She was described, yet again, as a normal person. She was well-liked by her employees and community. 

Then she went onto the internet in 2007.

Carlson found herself on a website known as “The LightWorkers”- a New Age philosophy public forum. The forum was described as a mixture of Middle Eastern philosophy and Western occultism, and at the time had over 50,000 active members. This website is largely blamed for the start of Carlson’s dive into New Age philosophy, and by extension, the organization itself. New Age philosophy is often used as a type of starting point for many cults, as it promotes a type of escapism from reality that is appealing to many people- thus making it the perfect base that cults need to create their religions. While there will not be much discussion of New Age philosophy in this article, it is incredibly important to see how it would go on to affect Carlson’s motives and actions moving forward. 

Haythorne recalled that during Carlson’s time on the website she was becoming “more religious”, alienating herself from her family and coworkers and spending much more time online. While the LightWorker’s website is not a public forum, internet archivists uncovered Carlson’s old account and posts on it from 2007. Her posts were primarily comments on other blogs, most of which had been posting long-winded sermons about “Quantum Light” or “Galactic Anchoring”. The comments were short, and simply spoke of her agreement with the ideas she was reading. It wasn’t until July 31, 2007, that Carlson wrote her first “official” post on the website, under the forum titled “Angels”. The post, named “Called to action”, stated that the “messengers have been dispersed… the MESSAGE has been made clear… Leaders emerge as lighthouses, they agree to be combined, most sacrificing everything… heading towards the light… TO LIVE IN A SACRED CONTRACT IN this BEAUTIFUL DESIGN…”. Carlson did not provide any context into the subject of the post, and there were no comments on the post that may have provided context. What we can infer from this post is that this was a part of the beginning of Carlson’s downward spiral into becoming Mother God.

She would begin commenting and blogging highly unusual and strange ramblings- some of which detailed her belief of the “3D” and “5D” world, and others that documented her “visions”. In one post from September of 2007, Carlson stated that she heard a voice tell her that she was going to be the president of the United States, and her disbelief of the matter. “Thats impossible…I am a homemaker never really got a degree Went to HU- Hamburger University if that counted…that is absurd.”

According to the Carlson timeline, however, much more occurred before her posts online. In the timeline provided by both Carlson and the organization, in the 1990s, Carlson was a famous celebrity at the local karaoke bar and caring for a dying husband. While it is nearly impossible to find who this “dying husband” is, many of Carlson’s later online posts mention a man by the name of “Rick”, who was likely this husband. However, it is unknown if Rick died. On 9/11/2001, Carlson claims that she learned that the “collective consciousness has been brought to Zero Point.” There is almost no information about what Zero Point is. In 2005, Carlson claims that she saw the Archangel Michael appear over her son’s crib and state “It’s time.” Carlson had no idea what it was time for, and speculated that it was the harbinger that awakened her mind to becoming Mother God. In 2006 Carlson claimed that she left her “earth-family” behind and went to Philadelphia to “transform energies”. Again, there is no context or explanation for what this means. 

Back in the regular timeline, in late 2007 Carlson met a man by the name of “Amerith WhiteEagle” online. Amerith was in his fifties and had been using the Lightworkers website for years at that point, and Carlson was apparently captivated by his teachings concerning “energies”. According to Amerith’s profile, in November of 2007, Amerith was completely infatuated with Carlson as well. In a post titled “I HAVE FOUND HER, THE GODDESS, BRILLIANT RADIANT MIRROR OF THE LOVE I AM,”, Amerith would detail how he had found “the one” and that “SHE AND I ARE ADDITIVE LIGHT IN LOVE VERY MUCH IN PRATICAL APPLICATION AND ALL OF HUMANITY IS BLESSED BY THE LOVE WE ARE INDIVIDUALLY AND TOGETHER EVEN MORE BRILLIANCE IN JOY BEING SHARED FREELY AND EQUALLY.” It is noted that the entire post was ripe with misspellings and written in all-caps. This post would later coincide with Carlon’s retelling of events, specifically when she left her family for WhiteEagle.

In the weeks that followed before they physically met each other, both would post comments and blog about how they felt for one another. WhiteEagle, particularly, would write very long posts about his love for Carlson, referring to her as “Lia”. In a comment by Carlson, she stated how she was leaving her “3D family” in order to meet WhiteEagle. It took until the seventeenth of December for her to meet WhiteEagle in Colorado, after followers of her webpage paid for a plane ticket for her to meet him (a woman would later claim that she paid for Carlson’s ticket before realizing that Carlson was starting a cult- this claim has yet to be proven). This was also after numerous posts where Carlson spoke of her need to be “in the physical” with WhiteEagle. 

The two met in late December of 2007, and this would mark the end of Amy Carlson and the beginning of Mother God. WhiteEagle had been teaching his online followers and Carlson of how he believed that “everybody” was God- and according to him, he believes that Carlson had taken it the wrong way; that she was “more God” than anybody else. The two would release numerous livestreams and a website on their teachings, and this would be the start of Carlson’s reference to herself and WhiteEagle as “Mother God” and “Father God”. The live streaming sessions and articles posted by these two were strange- there was often talk of “ships”, and in one of their earliest posts the two talked about the existence of the “5D Reality”.

The 5D reality is apparently a different reality than the 3D reality that we live in. 5D is an “elevated” plane of existence that only those who have “surrendered” to Mother God can live in, whereas 3D reality is “viewing things in a purely physical state”- or rather, the “unenlightened”. Carlson had apparently achieved enlightenment at this point, circa 2012.

If we are to check back into the Carlson timeline, then we can get context into how she believed the past five years had gone. According to the organization, in mid-2007, when Carlson left her family, she was “presented with two options: saving her three earth-children or saving humanity (eight billion children)” (I would like to point out that the total population of the earth at that point was 6.718 billion, not 8 billion). She had also learned of the ascension process, but did not go into detail about what it means. In late 2007 she met one of the “Father Gods” of the time, which was WhiteEagle. In early 2008 she learned that she was Mother God, likely after learning of WhiteEagle’s belief in who God is. 

In late 2008, things got interesting. According to Carlson, she is notified by “The Galactic Federation of Light”, who tell her that the “programming” of humanity is much deeper than what was initially expected. The book details that after Carlson learns this, she “refuses to give up. This is now a suicide mission”. I would like to point out several issues with this statement- The Galactic Federation is mentioned later on in future livestreams, and is apparently a council of enlightened beings, including Robin Williams- who was not dead at that point. Furthermore, nobody in the organization knew that Carlson was going to “ascend”/die until the late 2010s. If we are to go even further into the issues this timeline has, then we would need to point out that at no point before had there been any speaking of “programming” until a later livestream. 

In December of 2012, Carlson stated that she reached the 5th dimension. As the book says, “The Ascension officially begins. Yippee!”.

What isn’t mentioned in the Carlson timeline, however, is her frequent drug use. As an adult, she would take acid or smoke weed, as it had apparently helped her connect to the 5D plane of existence. On average, getting high is not going to make people into cult leaders- if that was true, then about 37% of all U.S. high school students would be cult leaders by now. Many researchers and former friends of Carlson point out that she was dealing with severe mental health issues, most of which went undiagnosed. While this explanation is by no means an excuse for Carlson’s actions, it may provide some insight into why she believed she was God, and how she managed to amass such a large following.

Things would change sometime in 2012. Carlson met one of her followers in real life- a man by the name of Miguel Lamboy (also referred to as “Michael” and “Archangel Michael”), who she believed was another one of her “twin flames” (i,e, true lovers). He had piqued Carlson’s interest, and was likely the reason she stopped her relationship with WhiteEagle. She would leave WhiteEagle for her new twin flame and would go on to form her own group who would hang on to every word she’d say. She would never become a singer or return to her three children, she would never mention WhiteEagle again, and she would never escape controversy after that year. In 2012, she would start Love Has Won, and condemn herself to a downward spiral that would not end in her ascension, but rather her demise.