The Dark: 

I wake up, darkness surrounds my form but I know the day won’t wait for me to be ready. The tiredness engulfs my being as I stand – unwilling to greet the morning without squinting, (was I always this tired?)

When I get to school, people surround me, bumping and laughing and hurrying to class. I catch a glimpse in a mirror. (when did I start to look like this?)

I walk towards all of my classes, determined to let everyone know I was about to make something happen, if only through my stride (walk fast, or they’ll see right through you.)

Every period feels the same, unfamiliar faces scanning through my brain. (would this class be any different if I weren’t here today? Does anybody know I’m here?)

At lunch, I open a container of food, the sound causing somebody to glance my way. Even the simple motion makes me immediately unsure if I want it. (is everybody staring at me?)

I glance at the walls, motivational posters on colorful backing telling me to not give up, I can do this! I look up to the patchy ceiling just as the last bell rings, knowing it’ll be mere moments before the swarms of people surround me again (has it really been that long?)

I smile, talking as cheerfully as I can to everybody else in whatever club it is that I have going that day, it’s hard to keep track, (if I’m busy enough, I don’t have time to think.)

I collapse into my room, pressing my body against the back of my door; gazing into the clutter of my room, invisible through a mere inch of wood. (when was the last time I let myself feel something?)

I don’t understand, (I don’t think we’re supposed to)

 The Light:

When I wake up, I can see the light just on the horizon. I stand, this is the worst part of my day, I know the best is yet to come. I shake the tired off, ready for what the day has in store for me (was the drive always so beautiful?)

When I get to school, I feel the crowd around me. It makes me so happy just to see people in their natural element. Crackling, insecure laughs – I think that they’re beautiful. I catch a mirror with my eye. (when did I start to look like this?)

I walk quickly towards my next class, excited to see what I could make out of the day. The knowledge was there all along, but today is the first time that I’ll ever learn it. (What am I going to learn?)

Every period is new, I don’t know too many people. I don’t feel a need to; yet. I grin, overhearing the conversation happening next to me. Her favorite color is olive green, and he has 2 cats at home – she bobs her head laughing as she hears about them. (I can’t wait to know both of them.)

I open my container of food, and I see somebody glance in my direction. I wonder if they’re just as hungry as me – I should offer them some. (If they stare simply because I choose to nourish my body, that’s okay.)

I gather the rest of my things together before hearing the familiar rhythm of the last bell of the day. I had been enthralled, didn’t even realize it was time to go. (has it really been that long?)

I walk into a room, finally being greeted by familiar faces. They instantly perk up, even if only for a moment as I offer high-fives and wants to hear about weekend plans. (If i’m going to be busy with anybody, i’m so glad it’s them)

I stumble into my room. Sighing, I glance into the depths of my room. It’s messy, but it’s my mess. I still know where everything is, and I’m undeterred by the looks. (It’s normal to be tired after a long day, let yourself feel.)

I still don’t understand, (I don’t think we’re supposed to.)

The world is beautiful, and bad, and terrible, and good; and I couldn’t imagine it without me. 

(both halves)

What will tomorrow look like?