“Toxic Femininity” Isn’t a Real Thing

Toxic Femininity Isnt a Real Thing

Sammy Saiki



A few years ago a teenage boy, who declares himself a feminist, began to pick an argument with me. It started out with the normal small talk; “How are you? Blah…blah… blah…”, but from there it went downhill. So far down hill in fact, that he brought up the phrase “toxic femininity”.


This is the exact moment when I decided to school him, because guess what, “toxic femininity”, doesn’t exist.


If you are involved in the current world and its climate, it is likely that you have heard the term “toxic masculinity” before. The expression is used to describe a set of attitudes and behaviors associated with the dominance and superiority complex that men carry in society. For example, a research study done by the Pan American Health Organization, states that “1 in 5 will not men reach the age of 50 in the Americas, due to issues relating to toxic masculinity.” Which is mainly attributed to the connection between self-care being depicted as something tha

t is not “macho” enough for them.

So if toxic masculinity is an actual entity, why isn’t toxic femininity? Is it all just an excuse to bring down me

n in our society?

Ah yes, the age old rebuttal that people – who are clearly uneducated on the subject – use in order to “confront” those who are calling out men’s privileges in the world. Now, I am not saying that just because you are a ma

n, you have the finest, most ideal life on the planet. The point that I am trying to get across is that men are not specifically targeted or oppressed because of their gender; allowing them to gain an advantage in our world. And because people hoist men up in such a way (and have been doing so for centuries) the ideology surrounding that sense of superiority has since created many problematic principles, now engraved into the male specimen’s mind. Furthermore, these principles often have to do with violence against women; according to the Huffington Post, “Every day, 3 American women are murdered by their partner or ex-partner.”.


To add to this, women are constantly being stepped on in society and the stereotypes correlated with women often have to do with being submissive, being lesser than, and maintaining innocence. Newsflash: portraying these stereotypes is not the equivalent to the violence portrayed in that of toxic masculinity.  All of these stereotypes forced onto women, wait for it… come from the patriarchy. Which, again, promotes that inferior vs. superior dichotomy; leading to the everlasting craving for approval from those perceived as superior.


And yes, before you ask (if you weren’t going to, just go along with it), the patriarchy absolutely affects men too. With people feeding them notions such as “men do not cry” and “(blank) is not manly”. However, we should not overlook the fact that these expressions stem from toxic masculinity. Surprise, the thirst that men have to prove their “manliness” to their peers are habitually passed on from a man to another man.


Additionally, there remains an essence of internalized misogyny which remains constant throughout society. Those who have toxic masculinity have toxic masculinity because they do not want to be distinguished the same way that women are. Kicking off that vicious cycle and ultimately fabricating harsher and harsher consequences on humanity. 

An instance in which this is illustrated is in research done by the Bureau of Justice Statistics, which proclaims that “Females age 12 or older experienced about 552,000 nonfatal violent victimizations (rape/sexual assault, robbery, or aggravated or simple assault) by an intimate partner (a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend).”. 


With all circumstances considered, toxic masculinity has proved itself to be the true problem that society has with gender issues. Furthermore, “toxic femininity” is nothing but a weak sauce excuse from men with a fragile ego, who are clearly suffering from a bad case of  unenlightenment. And yes, I did end up winning that argument with that ignorant teenage boy.


Works Cited:

Gender. Bureau of Justice Statistics, www.bjs.gov/index.cfm?ty=tp&tid=955. 


Huffington Post. Huffington Post, www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/

        domestic-violence-statistics_n_5959776. Accessed 6 Dec. 2017. 


Ideas of Masculinity Have Changed yet Toxicity Stays the Same. The Conversation,



       of-being-a-man-110305. Accessed 7 Feb. 2019. 


Pan American Health Organization. 18 Nov. 2019, www.paho.org/hq/

      index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=15599:1-in-5-men-will-not-reach-the  –


     &lang=en. Accessed 18 Nov. 2019. 


Toxic Masculinity Creates a Vicious Cycle of Insecurity and Abuse. but It Can Be

     Stopped. The MOCO Student, mocostudent.org/2020/03/


     topped/. Accessed 7 Mar. 2020.