The Worst Idea I’ve Ever Had

The Worst Idea Ive Ever Had

Morgan Martinez-Gee, The Best Who Does All The Work

One fateful day, I had slept awfully, but you know what solves no sleep? Caffeine! And how much caffeine can I withstand? Well, I learned. I came up with the brilliant idea of mixing a Khaotic flavor of Monster and 2 EXTRA strength 5 hour energies together in a Big Gulp cup. Pro tip, don’t do that. To explain why, here is this article. The only way I could explain this awful experience through the 5 stages of grief.


Stage One: Denial


My journey starts off by walking to the local 7/11 and purchasing a Monster and the two five hour energy shots. I started drinking it, the energy pulsing through my veins. I convinced myself that this was a safe amount of caffeine. 

Later, I went to Journalism, and everyone was telling me that I needed to stop drinking this abomination. I denied their request. I could handle this. 


Stage Two: Anger


During this class, I had started to lay down on the couch, but protecting what would become my downfall, my ‘drink’. My concerned friends tried to help me, but I refused. I was too far to back out now. Nothing could separate me from my beloved creation.


Stage Three: Bargaining


It was at this point that I started to not feel well. My stomach was turning and turning, and my head was throbbing with pain and anguish. I started to sit up, going to get water, before I asked anyone if they had any Ibuprofen or Tylenol. I was debating whether to drive back home just to get some medicine, or even just calling out of work. I felt so sick that I couldn’t fathom the idea of doing anything.


Stage Four: Depression


At this point, my entire life’s choices up to this point were being questioned. Why did I decide to do such a stupid thing? Will I ever be normal again after this? Why couldn’t I just listen to my friends? All I could do was lay down and wait for this pain to wash away. I waited and waited until I convinced myself to stand up and get some water. 

The period was coming to an end, and I’ve never been more thankful for having an off hour after this. Everyone was packing up, while I continued to sip my water. My lovely teacher, Ms. De Paz told me she was going to throw the devil-injected liquid away, and even though my mouth said not to, she and I both knew what needed to be done. She told me that 500 mg of caffeine should not be consumed in the span of an hour. That was the sentence that made me remember why I stopped drinking caffeine in the first place. Nothing good has ever come out of it, and never will. She walked away, leaving me in the room, alone. 


Stage Five: Acceptance


I had known what I did wrong, yet I never knew how much I would regret it. As my head started to go back to normal, I thought about what had happened. There were people who cared, who made this recovery almost painless, and I knew those were people I could count on. But, that isn’t without recognizing that I made a mistake. All of this could have been avoided, if I just trusted my friends who said not to do this, yet I didn’t listen. Now, this day has taught me, listen to others you trust, you probably don’t know what’s best.


Now, I sit here, telling you to not make the same mistakes I did, but rather to learn from mine. Caffeine addiction is real, and it’s not pretty. If you didn’t sleep well, just go take a nap if you can. And remember, when caffeine seems like a solution, it’s probably the cause of pollution.