One of my all time favorite albums is “Puberty 2¨” By Mitski. Released in 2016, Puberty 2 consists of 11 tracks. I think this is one of Mitski´s best albums, in my opinion there isn’t a single skippable song in this album. One of the album´s standout songs are “Once More To See You¨. The song creates the story line of an almost forbidden love, one that must be kept behind closed doors, and kept to late nights only. This song follows in the pattern of many other tracks on Puberty 2, short (around 3-4 minutes) but still packs such a meaningful punch.
The song opens up with two lines setting a visual scene for the listener, alongside an establishing feeling. ¨In the rearview mirror, I saw the setting sun on your neck. And felt the taste of you bubble up inside me.¨ Alongside the slow melancholy back track, the first lines create the theme for the rest of the song. Mitski writes of the rearview mirror, and the setting sun. These both hold much symbolism, the rearview mirror creates the idea of looking back, and the setting sun creates the idea of something beautiful ending. Especially with the setting sun of the person’s neck, this creates the connection of the ending being with this unknown person. The following line further pushes the idea of a lost relationship, Mitski is reminiscing on what could have been, the longing for this person is overcoming her, literally bubbling up inside of her.
The following lines give an answer to the question, ¨why can’t this relationship work/why is it ending?¨. Mitski writes, ¨But with everybody watching us, our every move. We do have reputations. We keep it secret. Won´t let them have it.¨ Mitski has talked before about the importance of her personal privacy, often not wanting to reveal her personal meanings in her songs. The line, ¨But with everybody watching us, our every move.¨ creates the idea of needing to keep an image up for those watching. The feeling of pressure to look and present a certain way. This sentiment leads into the following lines, ¨We do have reputations. We keep it secret. Won´t let them have it.¨ Mitski, and her lover understand the importance of keeping what they have private, they have an image and reputation to maintain. So, they’ll keep what they have secret, and not let what other people may perceive of them ruin what they have. While it may be nice to have your relationship be completely private and kept between you and your partner, it can become exhausting treating one of the most important people in your life as your darkest secret.
The next stanza reads, ¨So come inside and be with me, alone with me. Alone with me, alone. If you would let me give you pinky promise kisses. Then I wouldn’t have to scream your name. Atop of every roof in the city of my heart. If I could see you. Once more to see you.¨
In these first lines of this stanza, Mitski is almost pleading her partner to spend time with her, to savor the brief time in privacy they have together. She pleads to be allowed to show affection to her partner via, pinky promise kisses. This line creates deeper symbolism of the promise and secret of pinky promises. It´s a childish gesture, but still shows a deep trusting gesture. Mitski just wants to show that she can keep her relationship a secret, she pleads for the privilege to privately show her partner attention. Following this, Mitski explains if their relationship could be more affectionate she wouldn’t have to ¨scream your name atop of every roof in the city of my heart.¨ Due to the needed privacy of their relationship, things have become hard to manage, almost a standstill of affection. So instead of loving affection, Mitski imagines the past times with her partner, clinging to the positives, and almost pleading with herself and partner to let things be the way they could be. She ends this stanza with, ¨If I could see you, once more to see you.¨. At this point in the stanza, she doesn’t care for intimacy, or love. Just one more opportunity to see them, at this point the story feels that her and her partner have gone their separate ways. Mitski and her partner no longer could keep the act of privacy up while maintaining their relationship behind the scenes. The entire stanza is repeated once more, creating a deeper emphasis on her feelings of longing for what could have been, any chance to have one more chance to see her lost love.
The song comes to a conclusion with the last lines of the previous stanza, ¨If I could see you, once more to see you.¨ This last line to me feels almost like an acceptance of the loss, the last steps of her grief. The want to have a true goodbye, once more to see her love again still remains, but it’s not possible.
(image credits to https://genius.com/Mitski-once-more-to-see-you-lyrics)
