How To Be A Good Person

Morgan Martinez-Gee

Hey you! Are you down in the dumps? Feeling like a b̦̪̪̠̮̝͉̦̂̽͌͒͜a̠͇̯ͭ͘ď͓̼͇̭ͬ̿͛̀ ̧̲̼̺͇̦̉s͚̤̘̰̺̼̘̿̏͝i̙̲ͪ̋̾͡s͇̘̠͕̩ͨͪͤ͊̀ͅt̢̻̹͉ͯ̓ͮe̸̠̻̦͈͛ͮ̆̐r̴̯̬͖̮͙͗ͅ?͓̹̠͖̉ͮ̿͛͞. Well, this is your guide to the unknown world of being a good person!

Step 1: Donate!

You got those old clothes or plates you never use? Go and drop them off at your nearest church! Make sure it is called [REDACTED] because that’s the communities p̜̟̋͊ͧ̈͞r̴̝̱͔̳̂i͕̞̽̔̚͢d͍̣̭̿͢e̝̬̱͍̣̿ͭ͝ and joy! 

Step 2: Support The Community!

Clean up around your neighborhood! You sure know that they won’t. Clean up those dirty boxes from your b͕̱͙̅̓͆͟ͅr̨̪̮̯͍͇̞̫̔ͧ̊̚o̮̘͖̰ͭ̍ͧ͞t̺͓̭͙͕͈̠̎͠ẖ̞̮̬̤̭̥̾̃͌͠ͅe̳̝̓̌̿͆͢r̼͇̳̲̲̻͈͋̐ͧ͡ͅ. He’s not here anymore.

 

You have to accept that.

He’s gone

And it’s all your fault

Step 3: Report!

I kn0w you see those people gathering in the back of the CVS. Y’know, n͇̫̐ͧ̿͞e̼̭̻̪̝͇̋͂̓ͬ̀ͅx̞̝͈̝̬̙̉̕t̸̜̬̣͛̓ͣ ͖ͭ͒̀ͅt͙͔̱̳̯̹̪̠͗̀̌͘o̸̝̲̠͖̝̅ͨ̏͋ͅ ̫̦͉̰̠̦̬͌ͪ̉͢t͔͕̐ͤ̉̊͝ẖ̥͓͍̗̣͆̎ͦ͠e̦̯̼̲̹ͨ̍͞ ͓̬̠̠͎͉̪͛͟b̧̟̟͖̻̞̮̟̽ͬ̈̔ͅl̡̟͓ͬͥ̂e̢͉̜͉ͩͭa̶̘̼ͣ͊ͣ̎ĉ̶͉͖̦̗͎̖͙h̴̖̱͇̯̺ͣ̀͛̈́. I really wonder where our old priest went. Maybe to the Vatican or 6̸̦̯̼͔͔̙̩̰̓ͤ̈́ ̸̜̙̙̟̗̳̍͗̓̀f̧̥̭͚̞̬̙̘͕̾̈e̐̄ͫ҉̙̬͙̯͎̻e̮̭̝̫͐̏ͫ͑͡ṫ̷̙̼͌̈́ ͎̥̝̜͍̯̤ͦ̋̌̉͡ṷ̶̩̆͊ṅ̏ͭ͏̫̺͖̠̪͈̬d͚̜̉͞e̊ͩ҉̯͙̙͉͙r̻̖͋ͨ͛ͮ͠ .

Y.know, I see you in there sometimes.

Step 4: Clean

We need help cleaning up our last f̟̞̤̔̐͢e̖̭̺͙͈͇̜̮̓ͧ̚͝ȃ̸͓̱̱̺͇s̪̺̼̞͖̦̯̔ͫ͜t̙̰̳͕̦͛͋͛ͫ͠ͅ. We really made a mess with all that k͗̐͋͏͎͕̪ę̗̹͖̝̖̻͉͙̄tͩͧ̈҉̻̠ͅc̹͚͓͕̫̔ͯ̂̈͝h̷̬̦̦̦͓̥̯̽u͙̖ͩ̒ͥͨ́p̷̺̙̗̳̙͚̱̈́͋̅. We really need some help. The store is always running out of bleach

Where did you get that bleach?

Step 5: C̸͚̻̾̽̈lͯ҉̳̺͎e͚͚̮̱̓ͯ͡a̝͇̪̲̼ͮ̊̚̕ͅǹ̸͍̳̥͖̩̘̳͚̎͂̎

Where did you find bleach? It seems like e̴͇̤͈̲͔͙ͧ̑ͅv̢͚̲̯͇̫̼͛͋ͫ̔ĕ͖͓̲͍̺̥̮̻͒̏͝ṟ̲̯̝͇̮͍̓͋͊ͫ͘ỹ̧̮͉͚͇͒ͨẇ̴̠̰͎̥͍̮̹͔ͩ͐̎h̷̼̪̃̐e̺̠͙̺̩̰̚͡ͅr͈̺̘̙̰ͣͦ̂͒̕e̢̗̽ͬͅ is out. What, did you get it from the devil himself?

Right?

Step 6: Stop

Stop lying. Stop running around and doing N̡̞͇̟͙͔͑̉͐O̠̘͓̒ͨ͠T̸̝̣ͪ̈́̑͊H̼̲̬ͮ͂̇̀I̤̬͒͞N̴̙͓̜̯̈́G̸̺̯̀ͦͤͥ. I’m sick of you trying to get in o̡͎̟͈̽ͯ̃̽u̧̩͖̍̇̔r̺̯͈̥̙̦ͣͭ͡ WAY. Get Out 

G͔̰͚͉͇̺ͪ̂͢e͖̙̬̜̟̦̹ͫ͟t̳̯̹̻̋ͥ͡ ̰͔̲̞͔̬̳ͩ͠O̭̭̼͍̱͊͗̃ͩ͝u̴̲̥̠̻̜̝͗ṫ̩̺͈̗͉̹͒̎ͭ͠ͅ

G͔̰͚͉͇̺ͪ̂͢e͖̙̬̜̟̦̹ͫ͟t̳̯̹̻̋ͥ͡ ̰͔̲̞͔̬̳ͩ͠O̭̭̼͍̱͊͗̃ͩ͝u̴̲̥̠̻̜̝͗ṫ̩̺͈̗͉̹͒̎ͭ͠ͅ

G͔̰͚͉͇̺ͪ̂͢e͖̙̬̜̟̦̹ͫ͟t̳̯̹̻̋ͥ͡ ̰͔̲̞͔̬̳ͩ͠O̭̭̼͍̱͊͗̃ͩ͝u̴̲̥̠̻̜̝͗ṫ̩̺͈̗͉̹͒̎ͭ͠ͅ

G͔̰͚͉͇̺ͪ̂͢e͖̙̬̜̟̦̹ͫ͟t̳̯̹̻̋ͥ͡ ̰͔̲̞͔̬̳ͩ͠O̭̭̼͍̱͊͗̃ͩ͝u̴̲̥̠̻̜̝͗ṫ̩̺͈̗͉̹͒̎ͭ͠ͅ

 

Links:

Clean

Clean

Report

Community

Donate

t̸͍̖̳̜͖̘͔͒ͣh̳͙̪̤ͨ̀̈̀ͅẹ̛͎͉̮̗̹̃ͥ̓̎m̶͖̘͉̝ͨ