Are you working yourself down the bone? Not enjoying your free time anymore? Well, this guide is sure to help you. Now, sit back with a cup of his favorite hot cocoa while cuddling under that blanket, because it’s gonna get cold.

Step One: Take Time Off

Take a three day weekend! You’ve been working extra hours nowadays because you don’t wanna go home. You don’t wanna see the face of your mother again.

Step Two: Take a Shower!

Basic hygiene is very important! Feel the way the soapy water bubbles foam at your feet for 2 minutes. Or 2 hours. Like he used to do.

Step Three: Get in a cute outfit!

Get dressed up! Even if you’re just sitting at home watching the new season of Big Brother. Step in your closet for the first time since he left.

Step Four: Clean Your Closet!

Getting dressed can be hard, so why don’t you do some spring cleaning in the middle of winter? Maybe you’ll find that lost letter from that college or your sanity?

Wait, what are you holding? What did you find?̖̜̟͛́͑͞

Step Five: Go on an Adventure

Get out of the house! Run around, go to a park, talk to him maybe. But wait, why are you screaming and crying?

WHAT did you find?

Step Six: Go to the River

Go to the river.  He always went with you. 

Step 7: Go to Your River

You can remember that, r̷͔̳̝̖͔̤̔͂̊ͮͅͅi̝̩̣ͬ͂͡g͉̲͈̥̭̬͍̞͂͋̔ͯ͡h̸̜̥̞̝̪̯ͧ̂́t̹͔ͨͬͥ͗͞? You didn’t forget the r̢̮̙͔̰̔̃i͓̲͚͕̣̜͕ͮ͝v̭͔͙̺͖̩̜̗͐̎̚͝e̵͖̜̬̤̻̱ͪ̇r̳̜̹̎͘? You didn’t f̸̙̝͋ò̓̚̚҉̳̣̻r̵̫̳̺͔̠̠͍̥̐̉ͭg̣̘͋̆̿ͯ͝ȩ͍̳̟͙̥̱͛͌͒ţ̬̼̪̟̿̒̌̌ ̡̬͙̞ͣ͋̎h̸̩͙͈͙̺̟̩ͯi̯͚̎ͨ͘m̛̳̮̳̖̤̖ͬ̊͒ͯ, right?

You didn’t f̸̙̝͋ò̓̚̚҉̳̣̻r̵̫̳̺͔̠̠͍̥̐̉ͭg̣̘͋̆̿ͯ͝ȩ͍̳̟͙̥̱͛͌͒ţ̬̼̪̟̿̒̌̌ ̡̬͙̞ͣ͋̎h̸̩͙͈͙̺̟̩ͯi̯͚̎ͨ͘m̛̳̮̳̖̤̖ͬ̊͒ͯ, right?

Y̬̫̫̥̥̌̕o̤̻̞̮̰̰͎ͪ̎͑́͘ͅü͕͙͋͝ didn’t f̸̙̝͋ò̓̚̚҉̳̣̻r̵̫̳̺͔̠̠͍̥̐̉ͭg̣̘͋̆̿ͯ͝ȩ͍̳̟͙̥̱͛͌͒ţ̬̼̪̟̿̒̌̌ ̡̬͙̞ͣ͋̎h̸̩͙͈͙̺̟̩ͯi̯͚̎ͨ͘m̛̳̮̳̖̤̖ͬ̊͒ͯ, right?

Y̬̫̫̥̥̌̕o̤̻̞̮̰̰͎ͪ̎͑́͘ͅü͕͙͋͝ didn̨̖͔̖̭͇̙͈̮̥̭̱̣͈̐ͬͪ̃̀ͨ̃’̥͇̮̲͈͓̈́͠t̸̮͉̞͔ͨͧ͆ f̸̙̝͋ò̓̚̚҉̳̣̻r̵̫̳̺͔̠̠͍̥̐̉ͭg̣̘͋̆̿ͯ͝ȩ͍̳̟͙̥̱͛͌͒ţ̬̼̪̟̿̒̌̌ ̡̬͙̞ͣ͋̎h̸̩͙͈͙̺̟̩ͯi̯͚̎ͨ͘m̛̳̮̳̖̤̖ͬ̊͒ͯ, right?

Y̬̫̫̥̥̌̕o̤̻̞̮̰̰͎ͪ̎͑́͘ͅü͕͙͋͝ didn̨̖͔̖̭͇̙͈̮̥̭̱̣͈̐ͬͪ̃̀ͨ̃’̥͇̮̲͈͓̈́͠t̸̮͉̞͔ͨͧ͆ f̸̙̝͋ò̓̚̚҉̳̣̻r̵̫̳̺͔̠̠͍̥̐̉ͭg̣̘͋̆̿ͯ͝ȩ͍̳̟͙̥̱͛͌͒ţ̬̼̪̟̿̒̌̌ ̡̬͙̞ͣ͋̎h̸̩͙͈͙̺̟̩ͯi̯͚̎ͨ͘m̛̳̮̳̖̤̖ͬ̊͒ͯ,͂҉̗̳͉̝͓̬̞ ͪ̓͏̺̻̜̠̫̥R͉̖͚̫͛̏ͭ͘I̛̗͉͚̺̟͕̳͖̓͑͌̏Ģ̜̳̬͈͆͌H̶̘̪̜̫̗͍̓̔͛T̡̘̘͛ͤ?̶͕͚̪̭̩̹͈͉͛̆ͩ̃

Y̬̫̫̥̥̌̕o̤̻̞̮̰̰͎ͪ̎͑́͘ͅü͕͙͋͝ didn̨̖͔̖̭͇̙͈̮̥̭̱̣͈̐ͬͪ̃̀ͨ̃’̥͇̮̲͈͓̈́͠t̸̮͉̞͔ͨͧ͆ f̸̙̝͋ò̓̚̚҉̳̣̻r̵̫̳̺͔̠̠͍̥̐̉ͭg̣̘͋̆̿ͯ͝ȩ͍̳̟͙̥̱͛͌͒ţ̬̼̪̟̿̒̌̌ ̡̬͙̞ͣ͋̎h̸̩͙͈͙̺̟̩ͯi̯͚̎ͨ͘m̛̳̮̳̖̤̖ͬ̊͒ͯ,͂҉̗̳͉̝͓̬̞ ͪ̓͏̺̻̜̠̫̥R͉̖͚̫͛̏ͭ͘I̛̗͉͚̺̟͕̳͖̓͑͌̏Ģ̜̳̬͈͆͌H̶̘̪̜̫̗͍̓̔͛T̡̘̘͛ͤ?̶͕͚̪̭̩̹͈͉͛̆ͩ̃

y̴̜̯̗ͪ̄ỏ̸͚̫̽͑ů̩̯͈͠ ̵̘̣̱̳ͫ͛ͤw̸̬̹͆ͦe̤͓͍̟ͧ̂ͣ̓̀ͅṟ̡̗̭̯̫̐ͅͅè͉͓̘͎͑ͦ͟ ͉͍̖̤̥ͭͦ̀s͂̄̄̅͏̫̣̜͙̹̰ͅṳ͔̻̼̲̣ͮ͐͘p̨̮̳̖͌p̨̝̟̬͇̼̺ͯ̄ͣͬõ̵̠̖̮̤̟͖͎͙s̨͉̜̟̣̠̻̠̀͊e̩̩̱̻ͪ̔ͪ͘d̨̮̥ͨͩ̂ͮ ̓ͭͧ͏͕̥̤̠̯̳̦ṭ̛̙ͮ̐ͨ̚ő̫͔̟̼͕̜̅͘ ̧͇̗̺̇͑ͨ̚p̬͍̣͉̟̜̉̄͘r̢̤̤̒ǒ͍͉̮̝̩̠̦ͫ͢t̵̙̜̝̜͋ḛ̢̟̼͕͙̇ͨͩ̍c͈̥̩̈͝t̼̦̫͔̯̓̾ͪ͝ ̑̓ͤ̐͏͖̬͔̠̲̻͓͇ḧ̲̻͔͙̳́͐͡i̡̩͉̹͚͈͍̩̗̿m͍͕̟̗͆͂̀̚

À̢̺̮͉ͯ̿̃n̢̠̟̙̫̗͇ͫd̵͙̬͉͎̻͎̤̙ͪͧ͋ ̡̗̼͕̲͎͓̘̀̄͒͐n̘̪̯̲͚̘̤̻̒͊͝o̧̘̼͆ͯ̐ͯw̛̻̥͇̣ͦ ̡̣̙̮̈ͥ̿̇h̷̟̰̬͎͍̟̘̍̔e̸̹̞̼̻̠͚̣̰͖͍̝̜͋̆̑̌ͯ̇͂͢’̡̩̯͈͋ͤs̹̺̤̗̥̺̺̅̀ ̧̩͕̥̤̘̪̺̲͋̏͗ͫg̲͎͕ͨ̕ō̴͖̟̉͋̚n̖̪̫̲̠̞͎͌͞ĕ̻̮̙̯̥̬ͯ́̚

Step 8: g̛̟̩̤̜͓̥ͯ͊̃̓O̥̫̺̮̩̦̖ͯ͜ ̖̱̪͉͍͗̈́̚͡t͈͍̗̚͘O̷̠͖̱̭͆̀̓ ̴̜̼̮̯̝̩̹͌ͧy̷̝͇͓͖̰̜̟͖͊͊̌̈O̱̬̣̮̣̎ͮ͘ṳ̢̫ͮR̦͇̲̮ͣͫ̽̇͝ ͚̮̺̳̩̝̤̠͛͆̑̕r̓͏̥̻̗̙̭̫I̴̭̥͙͂̍v̨̲̺͈̥̪̻̦̻ͮE̴̘̠̖͍̻̽ͣͤr̮̞̖ͭ̇̎̇͜

It’s your fault. You meddled with something you shouldn’t have.

It’s your fault

It’s y̜̹̘̼͇̰̻ͮ͝ͅỏ̴̦̝͖ͮů̵̞͔̩͇̳͎̩̈́̔r̷̳͇̥̱̻̭̖̱͐ͧͯ̒ fault

It’s y̸̞̯̩͓̞̆ͯͬ͒ͅo̹̞̰͍ͨ̀u̎ͯ̒҉̫̭͙͚̯̻̘͙r̶̟̭͈̒̈ͫ̐ ̨̻̥̘͚̎f̩̠̮̰̻͛̊̀a̶̞̙ͬ̈́ͪ͋ụ̴̗̥̯̮̪̈́́ͪl̳̼͉̍͒ͮͫ͟t̹͔̞̥͚̜̱̤ͦ̉͜.

Step 9: Make some cookies!

Everyone loves cookies! Bake some! The youth church would love some cookies! You already work there, so it’s great. Go bake some cookies.

That was 9 easy steps to enjoy your free time! I hope this guide helped! 

Especially you.